Blanus

“Blanus is totally hot”

-Jeff Bridges

A modern reincarnation of daVinci, some say, most agree he is one of the most brilliant thinkers of today. A leading scholar in Advanced Animal Butthole Technologies (AABT), he has brought about new era of man-to-beast reproduction. His work is partly responsible for the existence of Scrambles.

Before entering the glamorous world of AABT, he was a world-class whore. Traveling through the Middle East and India, he made his mark as the best felcher east of Bandar Abbas. His life was good, raising a family of 92, and living in a large box of tampons outside of Cairo. It was in 1993, however, that he discovered his true passion.

While taking a couple dozen of his children for a walk, he saw the tightest horse ass he had yet seen. The horse glanced over, gave a wink, and Blanus was smitten. Two months later, they were married. Abandoning his children, he moved to Milan where he and horse mingled with high society and collected art. There, they lived in harmony for centuries.

Some fun facts:

The film Avatar was based off of his life.

His placenta was magenta.

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