Author Archive

Banana Fudge Diarrhea Split

Posted: December 17, 2010 by Blanus in True Stories

Today’s recipe is all about cohesion. Making sure all ingredients meld together is essential for this dish:

You will need:
-1 banana
-2 gallons of ice cream
-a friend with a mallet
-your asshole

1. Place 1 banana on a table standing upright.

2. Eat 2 gallons of ice cream in under an hour.

3. Wait 15 minutes.

4. Step up on the table and place your buttocks upon the banana.

5. While on the table, asshole-hovering-over-banana, have your mallet wielding associate slam you on the head. This should simultaneously force the banana upwards into your rectum and push the fudge ice cream squirts out.

Serves 8.

Runaway Bride 2 Announced

Posted: December 11, 2010 by Blanus in True Stories

The blockbuster success of Richard Gere’s masterpiece, Runaway Bride, has spawned a sequel dubbed Runaway Bride II. It’s doubtful a better movie will ever be made.

A Very Gimp Christmas

Posted: December 5, 2010 by Blanus in Poems

Christmas is a time of joy,

A time for love and cheer,

A time for making memories,

With my Gimp chained and near

Merry Christmas!

The Dangers of Rest Stops

Posted: November 10, 2010 by Blanus in True Stories

No, it’s not junk food and mexicans. It’s a new fear. Part slut – part lizard; they roam rest stops looking for hot, rich, truck drivers. Their proliferation is proof of success.

One should maintain caution when in a Lot Lizard’s vicinity.

Hot Babe of the Day

Posted: October 30, 2010 by Blanus in Uncategorized